We all like to think of ourselves are being generous, kind, decent people (up to a point) but my soft spot is for fellow surfers who have fallen on hard times. It should be easy to find a connection with people who has put their life at risk for the love of a wave, and that connection should extend to a certain code of behaviour and honesty as we are all 'our brothers keepers' in the surf. I have no problem with someone calling me an asshole or replying in same but I'll always do my best to save your life in the surf.
Many years ago I put together a great real estate deal that went pear shaped and left me homeless and a fellow surfer took me in and in 3 weeks I had a job and place to go and I've always felt grateful to that family for their generosity that caught me at the right time before I fell to far. That help put me in a job that provided a great income and now our own family house and security for life.
So Recently I've had the opportunity to take in a surfer I barely knew, he announced that his girlfriend would also be moving in to the free lodgings I was providing and he had brought no furniture, bed, linen, food or cooking utensils. So I bought those for my new friends. I thought they must be in a really desperate situation if they have nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few electronic gadgets.
Over the next 10 months it became clear that not only did these two have no jobs but they were unable to do any form of work for money, no painting, gardening, or basic housework was possible but they could spend every day surfing, taking photos and generally living like kings and borrowing , scavenging or begging for anything they needed. They could also badger me for anything they couldn't afford on their unemployment checks.
So as the months went by it was clear that these people don't plan to get a life, a job, or be anything other than human parasites on the goodwill of people who extend their generosity in the hope that a good deed will be appreciated and helping someone in need is an important part of civilised life.
There was never any hint of drug, alcohol, depression or external reason for their predicament, just a shameless choice to get the most and do the least.
They were most indignant when I told them to fuck off and never return but the good thing is that they swiftly moved on to parasite off another caring soul who actually picked them up from my place and took them away to house them for free at their new address.
Two things are clear...
1/. no good deed goes unpunished.
2/. A lot of losers are losers because they choose to be losers and despite your best intentions, encouragement, financial and general assistance will always be losers because that's who they are to their core.
I was always uncertain why his own brother would throw him out of a house but now I know why.
This year we took in another desperate surfer and we got screwed over again so that's it. Maybe it's better to send money overseas than help local losers. im sure there are plenty of honest people in need of real help but this is our experience.